Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize