Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
