Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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