I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
