check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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