every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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