There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
