my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
