Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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