Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
