So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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