I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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