what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
