i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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