i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
