What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Randomize