I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
3 2 1 whiskey
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
