ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
