stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize