my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
