His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
