I wish life had little blips of pornography
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
