she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
