well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
