Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
