Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
