please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
