the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
