the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
