she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
