Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
