you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Randomize