when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
