You can't motorboat a personality
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
