Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
