I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
