He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize