Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
