wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
