she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
