We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
