so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
