i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
