i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
