yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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