I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
