and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
