one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
