i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
