Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
