we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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