she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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