wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
