My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize