ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
