dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
50% drunk capacity currently
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
