unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the gays at disneyland are vicious
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
