do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
