I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
