i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
