I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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