Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
