I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
