Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Panties = found
Randomize
