This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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