What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
