I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
