at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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